What's hot and what's not
Mile High Club? Who needs it! We found better (read: more comfortable) ways to bust out of bedroom boredom.
Outdoor spot
Overrated: The beach
Ever try to dance on a beach? It’s slow-moving and tiring. Same goes for the horizontal dance—it feels about as liberating as doing it on a water bed made of cement. Plus, gritty sand is bound to find its way into tender areas. No thank you!
Underrated: The woods
Unlike beaches, the woods aren’t typically associated with blow-your-mind sex, so you arrive with much lower expectations. All you need is a double sleeping bag, a campfire, and the occasional odd animal sound to make you and your sweetie cling to each other.
Ever try to dance on a beach? It’s slow-moving and tiring. Same goes for the horizontal dance—it feels about as liberating as doing it on a water bed made of cement. Plus, gritty sand is bound to find its way into tender areas. No thank you!
Underrated: The woods
Unlike beaches, the woods aren’t typically associated with blow-your-mind sex, so you arrive with much lower expectations. All you need is a double sleeping bag, a campfire, and the occasional odd animal sound to make you and your sweetie cling to each other.
Occasions
Overrated: Wedding night
You’re exhausted and suffering from intimacy overload after being hugged and kissed by 150 of your closest relatives. Sleep now and save yourselves for the honeymoon.
Underrated: Saturday a.m.
When the kids are glued to the tube for at least 15 minutes, grab each other. You’ll be amazed at how much more pep you’ll bring to the bedroom, versus waiting until after Jon Stewart signs off.
You’re exhausted and suffering from intimacy overload after being hugged and kissed by 150 of your closest relatives. Sleep now and save yourselves for the honeymoon.
Underrated: Saturday a.m.
When the kids are glued to the tube for at least 15 minutes, grab each other. You’ll be amazed at how much more pep you’ll bring to the bedroom, versus waiting until after Jon Stewart signs off.
Surfaces
Overrated: Kitchen counter
Sure the height may be right, but all those hard angles in Italian marble are an unsexy backache waiting to happen. No matter the position, sensual moves work best when there’s a little bounce beneath you.
Underrated: Finished basement floor
A carpeted basement is soft and soundproof, and it brings back memories of after-school rendezvous. The result: You’ll have the passion of a teen with the wisdom of a woman at her sexual peak!
Sure the height may be right, but all those hard angles in Italian marble are an unsexy backache waiting to happen. No matter the position, sensual moves work best when there’s a little bounce beneath you.
Underrated: Finished basement floor
A carpeted basement is soft and soundproof, and it brings back memories of after-school rendezvous. The result: You’ll have the passion of a teen with the wisdom of a woman at her sexual peak!
Aphrodisiac
Overrated: Sweet condiments
Never mind counting calories. Sticky stuff like honey can hurt when the two of you rub against each other, making the deed about as pleasurable as a Brazilian bikini wax. Ouch!
Underrated: Spicy meals
Chili peppers. Cayenne. Curry. Foods with some kick get you hot—where it counts. Bonus: When food is zingy, you tend to eat just as much you need, not until you are stuffed. Much sexier.
Never mind counting calories. Sticky stuff like honey can hurt when the two of you rub against each other, making the deed about as pleasurable as a Brazilian bikini wax. Ouch!
Underrated: Spicy meals
Chili peppers. Cayenne. Curry. Foods with some kick get you hot—where it counts. Bonus: When food is zingy, you tend to eat just as much you need, not until you are stuffed. Much sexier.
Dare
Overrated: Your place, blinds open
It’s one thing to kiss and cuddle by the window; it’s another to actually do the deed. Giving your neighbors a peek of you getting it on may feel wild in the moment, but just picture bumping into them getting the mail the next morning.
Underrated: Hotel room, curtains just slightly open
No neighbors! There is something undeniably hot about the prospect of strangers catching a tiny glimpse of you two. You’ll get a little thrill without potentially embarrassing yourself in front of the whole town.
It’s one thing to kiss and cuddle by the window; it’s another to actually do the deed. Giving your neighbors a peek of you getting it on may feel wild in the moment, but just picture bumping into them getting the mail the next morning.
Underrated: Hotel room, curtains just slightly open
No neighbors! There is something undeniably hot about the prospect of strangers catching a tiny glimpse of you two. You’ll get a little thrill without potentially embarrassing yourself in front of the whole town.
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