Good sex tips

If you want to make the most of your sex life, these sex tips are a good way tostart.

Video: a healthy sex life

As long as you'retalking and listening to each other, you're well on the way to a healthy sexlife. However, even the most contented lovers can have fun trying newthings, so here are some ideas.

1. Buildanticipation

Agree on a period oftime, say one week, when you won’t have orgasms or penetrative sex. Atfirst, allow only kissing and holding each other. Gradually move onto touching and stroking each other, masturbation, oral sex, or whateverfeels right for you. But avoid orgasm. At the end of the week, allow yourselvesthe pleasure of orgasm, through any kind of sex you like. This week mayhelp to heighten your senses to all the other wonderful feelings you canshare when you’re having sex.

2. Massage

Massage can help youhave very sensual sex. As part of foreplay, it's a great way to start thingsoff slowly, and relax into the feel of each other’s skin as your arousalintensifies.

But a simple massagethat doesn’t lead to sex can also work wonders for your sex life. A non-sexualmassage will familiarise (or refamiliarise) you with your partner’s body,reduce stress and reaffirm the intimacy between you. If you don’t want amassage to lead to sex, discuss this with your partner so you can avoid anymisunderstanding.

3. The senses

Good sex can embraceall the senses, not just touch. Scented oil for a massage (don't get oil on alatex condom as this can damage it), music and candles for soft lighting canall be erotic, as well as listening to your partner’s breathing and the soundsthat they make. Taste each other as you kiss. If you both want to, you couldmix food and sex - feed each other something delicious and juicy, such asstrawberries.

4. Whisper

Whether it’s sweetnothings or your sexy intentions, whispering things to each other can add anextra thrill. It doesn’t have to be during foreplay or sex. A sexyphone call leave both of you looking forward to the event for hours or days.

This works with textsand emails too, but make sure you send them to the right person, and rememberthat your employer has the right to access your work email.

5. Masturbation

Masturbation, byyourself or with your partner, can be a bonus for your sex life. Exploring yourown body and sexual responses means that you can share this knowledge with yourpartner. Masturbating your partner can help you learn more about what turns themon. It can also be a useful option if one of you doesn’t feel like fullpenetrative sex, or if you have different levels of desire. Talk about itwith your partner.

6. Sex toys

If you and yourpartner both feel comfortable with it, using sex toys can be an arousing thingto do together. Some people use vibrators (and more) as an enjoyable partof their sex life. If you’ve never thought about using sextoys before, how do you feel about trying them? You can buy them online orin sex shops.

7. Read a book

There are many booksthat have exercises and ideas to help you achieve a fulfilling sex life,whatever your age, gender, sexual orientation or taste. If you’ve never thoughtabout buying a book about sex, why not do it now? You might wish you’d done ityears ago.  

8. Sharefantasies and desires

Everyone has uniquefantasies, tastes and preferences when it comes to sex. From earlobes toankles, hairline to hips, pirates to picnics, don’t be afraid to talk aboutthem. If you and your partner know about each other’s turn-ons, you can makethe most of them.

9. Keep it clean

We’re talking aboutyour general hygiene. You don’t have to keep yourself super-scrubbed: a certainamount of sweat is fine, as long as it isn’t overwhelming. But be respectfultowards your partner, and wash every day to prevent nasty smells and tastes.

10. Relax

Sex with a lovingpartner can be one of the most beautiful and intense experiences inlife. Sometimes the best sex happens when you’re not worrying about makingit exciting or orgasmic. Relax with your partner, and great sex maycome and find you